Over the last few years all I wanted to do was write. Putting pen to paper is what I lived for and as I wrote I prayed for those that needed to hear what God had laid on my heart. I prayed for you. Looking back now I see that another thing was happening as I wrote, I was healing. Each difficult post that I wrote and cried through brought healing to my life, my past hurts weren’t weighing me down anymore. I didn’t write for me to heal, I wrote because I wanted you to know that you weren’t alone. That your pain wasn’t unknown to anyone. I wanted you to know that someone understood. Surprisingly while I was focused on touching the lives of other women in similar situations that I’ve found myself in over the years, God worked on me through it all too. My dream to write wasn’t about me, it was about making a difference, being real and reaching those God brought to my little corner here.
A new year is just a few days away. Before we know it 2014 will be gone and the new year will come in just as quickly as ever. Yet, this coming year is different for me. Typically I know what the coming year will hold more or less. The main reasons for this are that I am an over the top planner and I don’t like change. The funny thing is that God’s will often requires us to change, even when we don’t want to.
God’s will for me in 2015 goes back to the beginning of time. Back to the first woman created. Eve. She was created to be a help meet. That was the only thing God gave her to do. Adam was to be her husband and she was to be his help meet. To love him, stand beside him, to help him in whatever way she could. I’ve never stopped being my husband’s help meet, but I’ve had time to focus on my dreams for awhile. I wrote my first two books and co-authored a third, I’ve made the best friends that a girl could ever ask for and God worked a miracle in me. I’ve had my time to dream and now it’s time to walk alongside my husband and help with his dream…his dream that has also become my dream.
So, how does an OCD, OTT planner let go of her dreams and walk into God’s will? The answer is simple, but so hard to follow.
One. step. at. a. time.
It isn’t easy to let go of what I’ve worked so hard to bring to pass over the last few years, but I’m reminded that God brought me to where I am today. He’s going to continue to see me through this next portion of my life. He will never leave me nor forsake me and though my future is unknown and the path seems dark and unclear to me, there are blue skies up ahead, I just can’t see them yet. I know that this is God’s will for me because no matter what “normal” writing or blogging activity I try to do, it doesn’t satisfy me. My heart is toward my husband, my children and my home. That is how easy it is for me to see God’s will for my life right now. There is no mistaking it.
God’s ways are perfect. When we follow them, He will protect us because we’re putting our trust in Him. God is our rock. He will not allow us to be shaken when we’re in His will. God is our strength. Though we may not be able to see where we’re going He strengthens us for the next step we must take and provides us the light for that step just at the right time. Following God’s will when it is unknown may not be easy, but through the journey we’ll be made stronger along the way and one day we’ll reach the high place where we can see all God brought us through and how amazing His will truly is.
My corner here will always be a place for my heart to pour out and God has always been the one to ensure that the words make it to the right person. That’s what Beautiful Ashes is all about, the beauty God makes after the pain. I don’t know what my schedule will be like here, so I can’t make any promises of when you’ll hear from me again. Please know that I am praying for each one of you and that if the Lord allows you’ll hear from my heart once in a while.
May the new year bring wonderful things your way, may God’s will for you in 2015 be perfectly evident to you and may He work amazing things in and through you as you follow Him!