My Grief is Shaped by My Thoughts



I’ve made life decisions that have led to divorce, being a single mom and then remarriage, this has not helped me become a very positive adult. Instead I tend to look at reality and live more on the glass is half empty side of life. I have been working hard over the last several years to see the blessings that God has given me in spite of the not so great decisions I’ve made in my life. It isn’t easy to change the way you think…my thoughts seem to have a life of their own oftentimes.

grieving with hope, grief journey, grief

I’m learning to become more aware of the blessings in each of my days by slowing down, taking in the moments and living my life today instead of worrying or planning for my life tomorrow. There are days when my thoughts run away with the mistakes of my past, the difficulties of raising tweens/teens or the struggles of running a family business. It is in those moments that I find myself struggling to remember the blessings of my life. Rather, my thoughts cast a negative outlook on my life as a whole instead of seeing them as life lessons, difficult moments or challenging situations in my life.

Each thought that I have has an impact on my day, my family and my entire life. They shape what I feel, how I act and what I say. My thoughts have a tremendous bearing on myself and those I love.

After all, thoughts become words. Words initiate actions. Words and actions based on negative thoughts can hurt those we love, as well as ourselves.

How I’m Learning to Grieve with Hope This Week

I realize that in the past my thoughts have not been healthy in the midst of my grief. I’ve asked God, “Why?”, for far too long. My grief has taken me to the depths of despair and depression several times a year. I’ve been filled with sorrow and pain, when I’ve known that my loved ones are finally where they belong…with Jesus.

I’ve been unable to grieve with hope because my grief has been shaped by negative thoughts. 

I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want to be left behind. I still had so much to learn from my loved ones. I needed them. I didn’t understand why God would take them from me.

My thoughts were all focused on me. How losing my loved ones affected me. Why God would let this happen to me.

While these thoughts are normal in the beginning stages of grief, they are not healthy when dwelt on and cried out to God for years after losing someone you love. 

grieving with hope, grief journey, grief

Today, I’m trying to dwell on the positive. The time I spent with the loved ones that have gone to be with Jesus. The hope that I have in Christ that I will see them again. The blessing they will always be to me…even though they aren’t here with me anymore. The comfort that God brings me as He holds me in His arms when the tears stream down my face. I’m also trying to remind myself continually that…

The thoughts that I allow myself to dwell on will have a lasting impact on me and my loved ones. 

I’ve known for most of my life that I haven’t ever handled grief properly. That is why I began this journey towards learning to grieve with hope with my besties. We’re in the midst of our book study through Grieving with Hope, by Samuel J. Hodges.

Every week we’ll each be sharing our thoughts on the same chapter. It is our hope and prayer that as we learn to grieve holding tightly to the hope we have in Jesus Christ that others will be encouraged and strengthened that are on their own grief journey.

You can follow my journey towards grieving with hope here.

This entry was posted in All Posts, Being Real, Faith by Misty Leask. Bookmark the permalink.

About Misty Leask

Misty is a Daughter of THE King, Texas girl always, Navy brat at heart, loving Fisherman's wife, blessed mother of 2. She is passionate about being real throughout all of life's struggles, successes and dreams. Her heart is full of ideas and passions, but the hours in her day never multiply to get it all done. Misty loves writing and reading in her spare time. Music and photography are favorite past times of hers as well.

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