Being Real: Divorce



Being raised in a Christian home, divorce was something that I never thought I’d have to deal with in any way. Growing up I knew that God hates divorce and that it was very hard to work through.

being-real-divorce

I had a wonderful example of what a beautiful, Biblical marriage was like in my parents. I knew that I wanted to be loved like my dad loves my mom. I saw how my mom loved doing things for my dad because she loved him. Their marriage was and still is beautiful 31 years later.

Divorce is not to be taken lightly. It is more painful than anyone can imagine. The scars don’t just go away with the signing of the papers. They last a lifetime.

I know first hand exactly why God hates divorce…

It makes unlovely what He created to be beautiful. It breaks people that He created in His image. It breaks up the family unit He designed. It breaks hearts which He loves. It leaves scars that will never leave. It creates the need for heart wrenching conversations that parents will have to have with their kids in the future. It can result in children’s hearts being torn apart, much of which we won’t see because they hide it. It can make moms have to try and explain why a dad walked away when their son was 2.

As Christians, we need to ensure that we are not being judgmental or demand that someone stay in a marriage because “God hates divorce”. We don’t know what they’ve lived through. We need to walk beside them, pray with them and ensure that we love them no matter what. God is the judge. We are called to love.

Divorced Christians are typically are one of the most unwanted, unaccepted and unloved group of people in our churches today. Somehow making the decision to leave a marriage (no matter the reason) makes you unwelcome and unloved by many “Christians”. This is a sad fact and one that will take each and every Christian to change. IF someone is divorced and they left for the wrong reasons, God will get a hold of them. God never says to not accept or not love the divorced.

As a divorced Christian I’ve sat in more back pews, remained silent in more classes and kept to myself after services because once someone knows you’re “divorced” they look, act and talk to you different. It’s like you have the plague.

I think often times Christians don’t know how to broach the topic of divorce, but it is something that we need to learn to discuss. Many times the person’s story needs to be heard. We need to take the time to understand their lives, life is messy and in order to make a difference you have to be willing to get to know them and their past.¬†We need to accept them as they are, after all doesn’t God accept you as you are?

Divorce is not the worst decision a person can make. It could have saved their life or their kid’s lives. If you don’t know their story or don’t want to take the time to know their story, then don’t judge. Leave them in God’s hands.

 

 

This entry was posted in Being Real, Life by Misty Leask. Bookmark the permalink.

About Misty Leask

Misty is a Daughter of THE King, Texas girl always, Navy brat at heart, loving Fisherman's wife, blessed mother of 2. She is passionate about being real throughout all of life's struggles, successes and dreams. Her heart is full of ideas and passions, but the hours in her day never multiply to get it all done. Misty loves writing and reading in her spare time. Music and photography are favorite past times of hers as well.

Comments

Being Real: Divorce — 23 Comments

  1. Hi Misty, I agree with you that Jesus is the only judge. We are called to love. We can do everything to help someone keep a marriage together, but we have no right to judge someone who is divorced; we have not walked in their shoes.

    • Exactly Kim! Until we’ve walked in someone else’s shoes, we need to ensure that we are loving in our words, actions and attitudes towards others who have been through very difficult situations. We do not know what they’ve dealt with or how we would have handled it. Blessings Kim!

  2. I LOVE how REAL you are when you write! I totally agree with you and have had to learn firsthand how to approach my divorced friends and family members with love and understanding as they have gone through divorce.

    • Love and understanding are so key when dealing with difficult topics, especially when they are things you’ve personally never dealt with. Thank you for stoppin by Sarah and for your kind words! Blessings!

  3. Misty, divorce is a ripping and tearing apart of one flesh, so where there is much hurt and pain, there is needed much more healing, redemption and refreshing. I’m praying for God to put strong godly women in your life to walk with you as you become each day the woman He created you to be, giving Him all the glory and honor for your decisions every day. He is writing a powerful story in you and your life, my friend. Follow Him, pursue Him, wherever He leads you! Let others watch and see the glory of God in your life, despite your circumstances. That is what makes unbelievers curious about our God! And know that as long as you are breathing, there is hope.

    Over at http://www.intentionallyyours.org, we write a lot about divorce, because we’ve walked that road. We do encourage husbands and wives to pursue Jesus with more energy and passion than they pursue anything else, because we know that is what honors God, and that when you pursue Jesus, He will add everything you need to your life…which may include restoration and redemption in your marriage!

    • Divorce is one of the most painful things that I have been through, but I’m thankful that God was with me all along the way and He has brought me to the other side. I am thankful for my loving husband and wonderful children that He has blessed me with. God is faithful and to Him alone do I look for acceptance now. <3

  4. Hi Misty,
    Thank you for being real. Yes, everyone wishes they could be married for 50 years and grow old with their husband. But in this fallen world, things happen. I’m sorry that you’ve faced the harshness of the very people who are supposed to love you.

    Thanks once again for being so real. God bless you !

    • Thank you for stoppin by Gertrude! It is difficult in this fallen world to expect things to go as God designed, for after all we are human. Thank you for your kind words. Blessings!

  5. This is so true, Misty. I think there is a fine line that many don’t know how to handle between holding to biblical principle and being open and loving to those who have (for whatever reason) found themselves in a situation that doesn’t please God. But there are situations when divorce is unavoidable…but no matter the situation, we must choose to love. Even when holding to our principles…it must be in love.

  6. Thank you Misty, for opening up your heart and sharing with us. Divorce is something people will gloss over way to quickly or bring judgement down much to harshly. Your post reminds me of this — in all things love.
    Your words always encourage me!

  7. Life is indeed messy at times. So thankful for a redeeming and saving grace! Having also walked this journey, and still walking it, I have learnt that in the end, it is our story that bends hearts to the wonder of a magnificent saving grace. When our eyes are heavenward, and when we live from that place, amidst the pain and heartache, despite the heartbreak and find purpose not in earthly gain but in eternal pursuits …. Wow, then that is indeed a powerful story. Who can judge that! Lovely to read yours :)

  8. Some say divorce is worse than a death. When one of the marriage partners breaks the covenant, there is release to the injured party to marry again. We also hate divorce, but we have seen many examples of God to supply a new and lasting relationship with a new love.

  9. Well said Misty – we are called to Love others, not judge. Thank you for sharing with Salt & Light this week, I’m sure this was a the perfect read for many there!

    Marissa

  10. Thanks so much for writing this! You’ve hit the nail on the head–what we must do is entrust people to God. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if, every time one of us were tempted to judge someone, we simply dropped to our knees and prayed for him or her instead?

    Thanks for sharing the wisdom that was born out of your own pain. And thanks for linking to Grace at Home–I’m featuring you this week!

    • Oh yes, that we would learn to do that! What a change we would see in the world if judgement was instead turned to prayer! Thank you so much for featuring my post and hosting each week! Blessings!

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