Another position that I never thought I find myself in was being a single mom. After my first marriage ended in divorce though, that is where I found myself. Having been married less than 2 yrs. and with a 3 month old son, I was single and a mom.
Thankfully I was not alone. My family and I are very close, so I was blessed to have their support to get out the abusive relationship and move back home. My parents and brothers were an amazing support group and still are to this day. My son spent the next 2 yrs. growing up with teenage uncles and the wonderful influence of my parents. We truly were blessed to not be alone during the hardest part of our lives.
Family and Friend’s Support is Necessary for a Single Mom
Having people in your life to support you as a single mom is necessary. There is no way that you can make it 100% on your own. Whether it be family, friends, MOPS, counseling groups, etc. you will need people along the way that will support and help you along the way. Your child will need them too.
Many times women find themselves pushed away by their family and friends when they become single moms. This is heartbreaking because it is at this time that family and friends can have a great influence on the mother and child. Punishing her and/or the child is not going to make anything easier on the family or her and the child. It will only separate the family/friends from her and the child. This is something that you may never have the opportunity to change later.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help
It will be hard to ask for help, but we need to be ready to do so when the time arises. As a single mom there will be things that you simply cannot do on your own. For instance, working full time and raising kids by yourself do not work well together. Coordinating daycare drop off and pick up times with a work schedule is next to impossible, throw in doctor appointments, sick days and birthdays and you’re sure to be overwhelmed in trying to stay afloat.
Family and friends are a single mom’s greatest support group. If you do not have a supportive family and/or friends there are many great daycares, mom groups, church ministries, etc. that are willing and able to help you and your children. God will provide the help you need, sometimes it shows up at the most unlikely time or in a place different than we expect.
Take Care of Yourself for Your Child
As a single mom it is very easy to worry about making enough money to provide for your child, to pay the bills, daycare, groceries, etc. Add on the housework that is waiting after a full day at work, laundry, lunch boxes, etc. A single mom’s day often RUNS from sun up to collapsing with things still left undone.
I’m here to tell you, let some things go. Your child will not notice if there are a few dishes in the sink and they won’t care if the socks are in a basket instead of the drawer, leave them there. Go to bed and get a good night’s rest. Sleep is what you need, not an empty sink or neatly organized drawers. Your child needs you to take care of yourself so that you can take care of them, so that you can enjoy time with them after work rather than stressing of all the things that “have” to get done instead of spending time with them.
Your children will be grown before you know it. Double digits and hormones are around the corner. Take the time to snuggle, wrestle and play games, then go to bed. The dishes will be there tomorrow and the socks come out of the basket just as well as out of the drawer. By taking care of you, you’re taking care of your kids.