As women our emotions can be used against us, so it is important that we are aware of what this type of abuse looks and/or sounds like.
What is Mental / Emotional Abuse?
Mental/emotional abuse allows the abuser to direct/control your thoughts or emotions.
What Does Mental / Emotional Abuse Look Like?
Mental/emotional abuse begins without you noticing it often times. A couple of ways the abuser begins are; by speaking negative, hurtful thoughts about you or your family/friends, and controlling your emotions with their actions, behavior and/or words.
Negative statements start with “You’re wearing that? It makes you look big.”, “What did you spend money on this week?” or “I’d rather you not talk to them anymore.” Your response to these statements sound like this, “They’re just sharing their preferences.” or “They love me enough to tell me.”
The abuse becomes more frequent and harsh as time goes on. “You can’t go out without me.”, “This is my house, my money and you’ll do what I say”, “You’ll dress the way I tell you.”, etc.
Mental/emotional abusers play word and head games. They do it well, and before you know it you’ve bought everything they’ve said. You start pulling away from everyone and everything you love.
These abusers will not hesitate to threaten taking their own life should you talk about or attempt to leave. These threats often are demonstrated with the weapon in hand.
The Abused’s State
As time goes on, you begin to not trust your own thoughts and feelings, you believe what they say about you and how you feel. When family and friends do have an opportunity to talk to you alone, they try to talk you into leaving and even offer to help. Your response is something to the affect that you’d never leave and that you desperately love each other.
You live each day with your thoughts jumbled and feeling emotionally dead inside. You don’t recognize yourself, but don’t know how to get back to the real you.
Relational abuse is real, and because of it 4,000 women’s lives are taken each year. I pray that through this series our hearts and eyes are opened, and that we would be willing to help any that God sends our way caught in an abusive relationship.
Please note….There are many different types and stages of relationship abuse, and admittedly more and worse than I have personally dealt with in my past. If I have not covered a type or stage of relationship abuse, it is because I do not have any personal dealings with it. However, my “ignorance” of the type, stage, feelings or after affects does not the change reality of this relationship abuse. If you or someone you love is in an abusive relationship please reach call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
