In the Silence…



My husband took our children to visit their Grammy this weekend and I’m left here alone in the silence.

As I sit here with no sounds in my home, (save the hum of my computer), I find myself wondering…

What is it about silence that we mothers crave so much?

In the Silence - By Misty Leask

Why do we long for the sole sound of our own heartbeat instead of the pitter-patter of little feet and chatter between our children?

Why do we wish away the short time we’re given with our little ones?

Why do I find so many reasons to do something else instead of playing one more game or taking time to check out their newest interest?

Why do I want silence when I crave noise when they’re away?

Someday they will be gone. Someday I will have all the silence I want and I’ll wish it away.

I’ll be longing for the hugs and kisses of days long past and wish I had done better at making it last.

I’ll be alone in the silence and my children will be grown.

In the silence I remember the things that made me laugh and the times I pushed them away. 

As the sun fades away I realize that I’ve lost one more day with my little blessings. 

My children are over half-grown. Soon I will be alone.

I can’t bring their younger days back, but I can do better at staying on track.

I must put aside the things that don’t last. For these days will soon be past. I must choose to put play before work and snuggles before cleaning.

My children once were my world. My everything. My reason for living.

What changed?

I changed. I thought I didn’t need to focus so much on them anymore. I thought I could be my own person “finally”. 

But I was wrong.

I need them more than ever because my time with them is almost past.

The truth is that I can’t be my own person because they are part of me and they always will be. And that’s the way I want it to be.

 

 

 

 

This entry was posted in Family, My Heart by Misty Leask. Bookmark the permalink.

About Misty Leask

Misty is a Daughter of THE King, Texas girl always, Navy brat at heart, loving Fisherman's wife, blessed mother of 2. She is passionate about being real throughout all of life's struggles, successes and dreams. Her heart is full of ideas and passions, but the hours in her day never multiply to get it all done. Misty loves writing and reading in her spare time. Music and photography are favorite past times of hers as well.

Comments

In the Silence… — 17 Comments

  1. Hi Misty..I wanted to say that what you wrote was really beautiful and really BRAVE to talk about. So many mothers including myself always strive to be the best parent that we can be and it is sometimes difficult to admit that we long for the silence that you wrote about. See I also have felt this way many times and I always feel so guilty for feeling that way and especially for thinking about it. Being a mother as you know is the hardest job on earth! There is no question about that. We never get time off or even vacation time away because being a mother is a 24/7/365/18+ year/forever job. Mother’s always put their families first and somehow we always wind up on the bottom of the roster. It’s definitely demanding and draining at times. I believe that in order for a mother to be valuable to their children & spouse we have to out ourselves first every now and then. Even if just for sanitary sakes! It really is amazing just how fast our children grow up. Like you my last 2 kids are 16 & 14 years old so I am on the home stretch so to speak. So many times I always think about how fast they are growing and how soon they will be heading off for college. I really try my best to cherish every second with them and like you when they are gone I will reflect and wish they were my little babies once again. I just wanted to thank you for sharing this and I know it’s never easy to admit how exhausted we are or how we long for a little mommy time. I’m positive that you are one amazingly, loving & beautiful mom to your babies. Thank you for reminding me to keep cherishing every second with my kids. Hugs! Terri of Two Pink Peas http://www.twopinkpeas.com

    • Aww Terri you brought tears to my eyes this morning! This post was real and I cried through every keystroke, but it is my heart. I long to love on my kids and ensure they know that I need them, but at times it is truly exhausting. It is my prayer that going forward as much as I am able (with the Lord’s strength) that I bask in the overwhelming joy of motherhood and remember that soon these loud, crazy, exhausting days will be gone and silence will be all I know. Hugs! <3

  2. Oh gosh..Please excuse the typos..my phone loves to use autocorrect without me noticing. I Meant sanity’s sake! Good grief..lol I also forgot to say that being a mother is the most rewarding blessing we can ever have!

  3. Pingback: » In the Silence…

    • I’m so glad it was encouraging to you! :) <3 May your playtime be filled with laughter and snuggles! <3

  4. This really hits home for me because my kids are growing up so fast and I so desperately want to soak them up while I can. Thanks for sharing. ♥

    • Yes, it truly is important to soak them up while we can! Letting go of the non-important to embrace the fleeting! <3

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