My dealings with physical abuse are minimal, but this series would not be complete without touching on it.
How to Recognize Physical Abuse
Physical abuse doesn’t actually have to be visible. Some abusers will ensure it isn’t visible, often hidden under clothes; while others don’t care and the marks they leave don’t lie.
If the marks aren’t there you will have to look to the person’s behavior to see if it’s altered. The physically abused typically will shirk away from human contact, because they associate it with pain. People who once used to be very touch oriented will suddenly stop hugging, shaking hands, etc. They simply can not separate physical contact from physical pain. To them it is now one in the same.
Types of Physical Abuse
This type of abuse has so many variations, I can’t list them all. Think of common verbs and there’s sure to be some form of physical abuse to go with it. Whether it be hitting, kicking, shoving, pinning, choking, etc. All of these are methods that physical abusers use to hurt others, often those they state they “love”.
How Do You Help?
This type of abuse is the most dangerous because of the amount of anger in the abuser is unknown. You do not know what they are capable of doing. It is for this reason, that you must follow these directions for helping someone in a physically abusive relationship.
Why Won’t Some Women Leave?
Some women won’t leave, they’re scared, scarred and don’t believe they can ever really get away. If they were to leave and be found later, it would be worse if they had just stayed.
We must remember….
We can not judge women that are unwilling to leave. Through the years I’ve heard statements like “If she won’t leave then it’s her fault.” or “I just don’t get why she won’t leave, so I don’t worry about it.”. We do not know what she has been through or is currently going through, we probably can’t even imagine it. We’ve not been in her shoes and dealt with her pain, so we have no idea how we would handle it.
The statistics don’t lie, when some women try to leave a physically abusive relationship they don’t make it out alive.
Do not get physically involved with someone in a physically abusive relationship, it could be a matter of life or death.
Please note….There are many different types and stages of relationship abuse, and admittedly more and worse than I have personally dealt with in my past. If I have not covered a type or stage of relationship abuse, it is because I do not have any personal dealings with it. However, my “ignorance” of the type, stage, feelings or after affects does not the change reality of this relationship abuse. If you or someone you love is in an abusive relationship please reach call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
