Being raised in a Christian home, divorce was something that I never thought I’d have to deal with in any way. Growing up I knew that God hates divorce and that it was very hard to work through.
I had a wonderful example of what a beautiful, Biblical marriage was like in my parents. I knew that I wanted to be loved like my dad loves my mom. I saw how my mom loved doing things for my dad because she loved him. Their marriage was and still is beautiful 31 years later.
Divorce is not to be taken lightly. It is more painful than anyone can imagine. The scars don’t just go away with the signing of the papers. They last a lifetime.
I know first hand exactly why God hates divorce…
It makes unlovely what He created to be beautiful. It breaks people that He created in His image. It breaks up the family unit He designed. It breaks hearts which He loves. It leaves scars that will never leave. It creates the need for heart wrenching conversations that parents will have to have with their kids in the future. It can result in children’s hearts being torn apart, much of which we won’t see because they hide it. It can make moms have to try and explain why a dad walked away when their son was 2.
As Christians, we need to ensure that we are not being judgmental or demand that someone stay in a marriage because “God hates divorce”. We don’t know what they’ve lived through. We need to walk beside them, pray with them and ensure that we love them no matter what. God is the judge. We are called to love.
Divorced Christians are typically are one of the most unwanted, unaccepted and unloved group of people in our churches today. Somehow making the decision to leave a marriage (no matter the reason) makes you unwelcome and unloved by many “Christians”. This is a sad fact and one that will take each and every Christian to change. IF someone is divorced and they left for the wrong reasons, God will get a hold of them. God never says to not accept or not love the divorced.
As a divorced Christian I’ve sat in more back pews, remained silent in more classes and kept to myself after services because once someone knows you’re “divorced” they look, act and talk to you different. It’s like you have the plague.
I think often times Christians don’t know how to broach the topic of divorce, but it is something that we need to learn to discuss. Many times the person’s story needs to be heard. We need to take the time to understand their lives, life is messy and in order to make a difference you have to be willing to get to know them and their past. We need to accept them as they are, after all doesn’t God accept you as you are?
Divorce is not the worst decision a person can make. It could have saved their life or their kid’s lives. If you don’t know their story or don’t want to take the time to know their story, then don’t judge. Leave them in God’s hands.