Being Real: Marriage + Salt & Light #37

Many times we enter marriage with a lot of dreams and expectations, some of which we realize and others we don’t. While dreams and expectations aren’t all bad, if they’re unrealistic they can cause significant heartache or even wreck havoc on your marriage relationship.

The first few years of my marriage were extremely difficult, due to many things, including my unrealistic dreams and expectations. There were many dreams and expectations that I had, but didn’t realize.

Being Real: Marriage

My husband and I have been married 9 years and there are times when I must take a step back and look at our marriage with eyes wide open. Times when I can feel the tension between us, days when kind words struggle to be spoken and even weeks when I know something is just off.

During those times of reflection I often have found that either myself or my husband had expected the other to react a different way, complete a specific task or simply take time to speak to each other.

A simple dream or expectation can cause a bump in anyone’s marriage if communication is not a priority. <<– Share this

Whenever we realize we have had a dream or expectation that has affected our marriage, we must go to our spouse and talk about it. If we’ve wronged them in any way, we must be ready to apologize and sometimes we must be willing to admit the wrong we’ve done in the situation even if ours was not the first wrong. Humility will win over pride (or stubbornness) in any relationship.

Another detriment to any marriage is when one or both spouses become comfortable where the relationship is and relational growth ceases. Once marriage takes place, sometimes the wife stops caring for her husband and doesn’t seek to please him anymore, other times the husband doesn’t care to woo his wife or spend time with her as when they were dating.

Throughout my marriage we’ve both come to comfortable places. Sometimes it’s been a mutual place and other times one of us has been sitting comfortable while the other is left wondering what to do.

In order to grow any relationship you must spend time together continually, getting to know who someone is, truly is a lifetime task because people continue to grow throughout their entire lives.

I think often times because we spend some part of each day (typically) in our home with our spouse present, that we count this as time together. Yet, how much of our daily time is spent getting to know each other, doing something together or talking and enjoying each other’s company.

How differently we view our spouse vs. our boyfriend! When we were dating we couldn’t get enough of each other and now at times we can’t be bothered to make time for each other.

Marriage is the second most important relationship we’ll ever have, it must be second in priority in our lives. We must plan time together, pray for our husbands, be patient when things are being worked on in them by God and ensure our hearts are right with the Lord. If our relationship with the Lord isn’t growing, then our marriage will struggle.

We must ensure that our relationship with God is growing. As we raw closer to God, He will continue to grow us into the spouse He created us to be and in the midst of it, our marriage will prosper because we’re doing God’s will. At times we may not see our marriage prospering, but as long as we remain faithful to God, He will bless us along the way, often when we least expect it.


I’m thrilled to be teaming up with some of my favorite girls online as a new co-host to a Monday link up here at Beautiful Ashes.

 “You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.


“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” ~Matthew 5:13-16

More specifically, how are we as blogging mommies, wives, and women, being salt and light towards others online?

Here is your chance to generously sprinkle some salt and shine a light: a link up where you share a post that you enjoyed recently from someone else’s blog or website.


Salt & Light Link up  {Rays of Grace & Joy}

Be the Salt & the Light to the world this week and share:

  • Faith in Jesus – What inspired your faith walk with Jesus
  • Marriage – What touched your heart for your spouse
  • Singleness – What has inspired you to reach out to God
  • Mothering – What encouraged you to be the best mom you can be this week
  • Health –  A new recipe that you hope to bless your family with, or health tip that will benefit your family
  • Service –  A story of service that touched you
  • Finances – A tip that will serve your family well 
  • Homemaking – Inspiration to make your home a haven for your husband, kids, and guests
  • Time – Share a story that opened your eyes to the use of time in our life
  • Beauty – A reminder of what beauty really is in a world that tries so hard to 


This is only a list to get you started as you search for posts that touch you to share with others. Honestly, any online article you’ve read that touched you is perfect for this link up.  We all know that there are great writers on the internet that others just haven’t discovered, use this opportunity to the light shining on some wonderful writer. 
Once you’ve found a great article, link it up below and then leave a comment or send an email to the article’s author and let him or her know you’ve shared.  Who knows how such a small act of kindness will impact them. 

And of course, if you have written an encouraging post you would like to add to the link up, go ahead link up a second, personal post.  

Weekly Feature:

Bridget, Mandy, Marissa and I are picking our own favorites each week to feature, so make sure to check out both of our sites to see if you were featured.  My favorite this week is “It Feels Like Another Manic Monday” by Jennifer.


Your Chance to be Salt & Light

More specifically, how are we as blogging mommies, wives, women, being salt & light towards others online?

Here is your chance to generously sprinkle some salt and shine a light: a link up where you share a post that you enjoyed recently from someone else’s blog or website. 



Make sure to follow MarissaBridget, Misty and Mandy so you don’t miss future opportunities to be Salt & Light to others! Oh and check out Salt & Light’s pinterest board… your post might just show up there!


The fine print: Please understand that by linking up with the Salt & Light, you are agreeing to allow Rays of Grace & Joy, Beautiful Ashes, Women of Worship or Becoming a Godly Wife to feature you in a future post.  That includes a link to your post, and a picture you’ve used on that post.  You are also allowing Rays of Grace & Joy, Beautiful Ashes, Women of Worship or Becoming a Godly Wife to share any post you link up with pinterest, facebook, twitter and/or google+.  Also, by posting in this hop, you are allowing your email address to be used for a weekly reminder of the hop – your email will not be used for any other purpose, period.

About Misty Leask

Misty is a Daughter of THE King, Texas girl always, Navy brat at heart, loving Fisherman's wife, blessed mother of 2. She is passionate about being real throughout all of life's struggles, successes and dreams. Her heart is full of ideas and passions, but the hours in her day never multiply to get it all done. Misty loves writing and reading in her spare time. Music and photography are favorite past times of hers as well.


Being Real: Marriage + Salt & Light #37 — 9 Comments

    • Marriages are under battle these days, it’s important that we stand strong in the midst of it! I love the S&L link up too! 🙂 Thanks for stoppin by Deborah! <3

  1. Those unrealistic expectations are killers, yes? I’ve had quite a few in my marriage, too. But the sooner we can recognize them and deal with them, the better off everyone is. Thanks for helping us understand the need to be real.

    • Yes indeed they are! It is SO much easier when we pay attention to them as soon as they show up vs. waiting until later. Blessings Lisa!

  2. I love this post on marriage, Misty. Yes, expectations can get the best of us, can’t they? I think the key is putting our marriages before God and asking Him to work in them. That way, our focus isn’t on the other person. Let us never grow so comfortable with our spouse that we stop appreciating them. Thanks so much for that reminder today (and for the link-up!)

    • Yes! We must NOT grow comfortable and not appreciate our spouses and allow God to work in our marriages! Those facts are SO important! Blessings!

  3. Pingback: Marriage is Under Fire - Beautiful Ashes

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