Going from married then divorced, to single mom and next unwed mom, my life has seen some difficulties. Some of them were of my own making, due to stubbornness, pride and selfishness…others not so much. The next step on my journey was not expected and most definitely a “God thing”.
Getting Remarried
After you’ve said “I do” once and seen it come crashing down, getting remarried is a pretty scary topic. Toss in a past tainted with relational abuse like mine and it can be terrifying. Yet, when God is part of the process all of those things seem to fade away somehow, notice I said fade…not disappear. Choosing to trust someone enough to say “I do” again isn’t an easy task, it requires a letting go of things you can’t change like never before. It requires a level of peace and trust that only God can give. Getting remarried also means you’re going to have to grow some thick skin because at times you’ll need it. Some people don’t agree with Christians being remarried for any reason, so you have to be ready for those looks, questions or people that will just ignore you once the word “remarried” has become a label for you.
Being Remarried Isn’t Easy
Getting remarried after a divorce is not something that is easily accepted nor do many people know how to handle it because of the history involved. It is a difficult choice and those that are remarried will face many struggles. Leaving the past behind, dealing with people judging you because they don’t want to take the time to know your messy life history, reminding yourself over and over again that your current spouse is not your ex is another struggle you face day after day. Choosing to remarry isn’t the right choice for everyone. People don’t do it because it’s easy…honestly it is harder than just having been married and divorced.
Remarried? Accept It As God’s Grace
God’s grace is an amazing thing, something that I’m very thankful for and yet don’t fully comprehend it. I truly see my current marriage as God’s grace being bestowed on me. While marriage is supposed to be for life, my first marriage didn’t turn out that way for many reasons. Yet, God sent me another man that He knew would be my perfect husband. One who would be patient as I grew beyond the ugly past, a man who has grown in the Lord himself through our marriage and who loves me in ways that I may not understand, but am learning to see them. God is good and He wants good for us, it’s when we get in His way that things go awry…though sometimes He allows us to learn from our mistakes, there are times that He showers us with His grace. If God has given you the gift of remarriage after a difficult past marriage, embrace it. Don’t worry about what others will think, if God is in the workings of it then praise and thank Him for second chances.
Misty, I love your blog and how you are real. This is so important. Helping women move past a marriage and into a new life. Me, I remarried, as well. Though, my story is a little different. I remarried the man who divorced me. It’s all about God’s grace – that’s it. That’s what we need to hold on to at all times. Blessings sweet friend.
<3 Each story is different, yet they share one thing the same...God's grace. That which we could not do without. Hugs and blessings to you and yours sis! <3
This is something I haven’t experienced but have watched so many others go through. Excellent words of reminder…love that you see remarriage as God’s grace. Beautiful!
Yes, God’s grace is everywhere…it makes the unlovely things of life beautiful again…from ashes can come beauty through God’s amazing grace. Blessings!
There are many things in our past (not necessarily divorce) that if it were known, many eyes would roll up and arms cross and they would question our walk with the Lord. I am so glad you were blessed with a man who loves and understand you and you can serve God together. Too many people try to take out the splinter in our eye, when they have a plank in their own eye. Thank you for sharing your amazing post with us here at “Tell Me a Story.”
Yes, if everyone were honest and real about their lives, many people would be shocked, but more importantly lives would be changed! Blessings Hazel!
I first read this post a few days ago, Misty. Stepped away to process…So much of it is true for me as well. Not in all the same order but very similar Life circumstances,none the less.
I’m always truly happy when I see folks finding Love and giving it another chance. Married for 24 years and blessedly Single for almost 9 years, I’m not certain remarriage will ever be a good or truly appealing idea to me.
It would take an act of God (& the truly kind of honest Man for which I have yet to stumble upon).
Your blog is lovely. Thanks for sharing some of your story.
Remarriage definitely has to be something God brings your way. It isn’t for everyone and honestly before meeting my current husband I had NO desire to EVER get married again. I was perfectly happy being a single mom to the little one God had blessed me with. It was not in MY plans to get remarried, but it was in God’s plans. I’m very thankful for the blessing it is, but it is not without it’s struggles and leaving the past behind is very hard at times. Praying for you Shandra <3