Eventually you have to come out of the depths of your grief. You can’t stay swallowed up in the overwhelming sorrow and excruciating pain that takes over you when you lose someone you love. Taking the first steps into your new reality is a different kind of pain. It is the beginning of letting go of life as we knew it…life with the one we loved alongside us.
When you begin to walk through your new reality you encounter people who want to comfort and help you through your journey of grief. They mean the very best, but often they don’t know what to say, how to act or what to do for you. Still, they reach out and sometimes the words or actions don’t come out right and we have to give something instead of receive…
Grace in the midst of grief.
How I’m Learning to Grieve with Hope This Week
Living in a different state than my best friend hasn’t made this part of my journey towards grieving with hope any easier. As I step outside the walls of my home I come across people who know of my loss through family, Facebook or blogging. Some of them ask questions and while those are hard, I’m finding it harder to see people for the first time who don’t even mention her. I feel like the whole world has moved forward and I’m stuck in the past. Silently I choose to offer grace instead of harboring hurt feelings for pain that was unintentional and more than likely unknown.
Even within my own home I have had to extend grace in the midst of grief…to my own family. They see and know the depth of the pain and the heartache that I feel each day, but knowing and living and feeling it are very different things.
In all honesty I don’t want to step outside the walls of my own home. I don’t want to begin to truly live my new reality. I’m not feeling very gracious right now. Tears still overtake me from time to time. My heart just hurts.
God knew I was going to need more time to find the grace I need to give others.
Right now I’m busy online preparing for a big project. I hardly have any free time right now, it is keeping me extremely busy…in the privacy of my own home. I have little time to think beyond what the next task I need to complete will be. So for today, I don’t have to focus on giving much grace. That will change very soon, but not today.
Life is all about grace…
Tomorrow will come. A new day will dawn. My days will slow down a bit in the near future. I will silently choose to offer grace to those who are not suffering through the loss of a loved one like I am. I will grow beyond this pain. Grief is a part of life…but so is grace. I must choose to walk hand in hand with grace and grief. One must not be without the other.
I’ve known for most of my life that I haven’t ever handled grief properly. That is why I began this journey towards learning to grieve with hope with my besties. We’re in the midst of our book study through Grieving with Hope, by Samuel J. Hodges.
Every week we’ll each be sharing our thoughts on the same chapter. It is our hope and prayer that as we learn to grieve holding tightly to the hope we have in Jesus Christ that others will be encouraged and strengthened that are on their own grief journey.